I am an Orphan

I am an orphan.  My Mom passed away June 25, 2009;  my Dad passed away March 10, 2011.  I've heard that there is a book about being an adult orphan that I should read.  Does anyone know the title?

To say that the past few years have been rough would be an understatement.  Over an eight month period, we lost four family members.  We barely had time to mourn one loss, before we lost another family member.  I've been told that some of us (including me), suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

We were not prepared for the death of my Mom, even though her health had been declining.  I think of her every day, and especially on Mother's Day.  Two weeks after my Mom passed away, my Dad was hospitalized and needed to go into a nursing home. He couldn't walk and had many health problems which required a skilled nursing facility.  Much as it was hard to see him go into a nursing home, luckily he received excellent care.  He lived in the Masonic Care Community in Utica, NY for a year and a half; we visited frequently and I would certainly recommend this facility.  Mom and Dad, I miss you both and love you both
very much.

After my Dad went into the nursing home,  we had to clean out sixty plus years of stuff from their house.  I still have a lot of their things in boxes; it is very difficult for me to get rid of anything.  This has made my hoarding problem worse.  It has been difficult to even look through those boxes, but I know I have to start doing it.

My husband and I had to help out my parents financially too, including paying a fifty thousand dollar ($50,000) home equity loan. We made some home improvements to help my parents out too.  Luckily, our daughter and son-in-law own my childhood home now.  That house was built by my Grandaddy (my Mother's father), who was a carpenter. My parents were married in 1948, and we moved into that house in 1951.  It would have been very difficult for me if we had to sell that house.  Our daughter and son-in law got married in 2010,  and I guess you could say that we gave them a house for a wedding gift.  My husband and I both wanted to give them something permanent instead of helping to pay for their wedding.

When my Dad passed away, my husband said it was "the end of a whole generation".  Our family is very small and it is very strange to be one of the oldest family members now.  I'm not ready to think of myself as an "elder".  Sometimes when I listen to the music from the 60's and 70's I feel like I'm back "in the day"; that is until I look in the mirror!